Vanessa Kinzey

“We do not stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing!”

George Bernard Shaw

I did not make a New Year’s Resolution this year. At least not officially. In the past I would make a declaration of an intention, and it felt like this big emotional show. It never felt real. And it never stuck.

This year, after months of hobbling through the dumpster fire that was 2020, I very quietly entered into 2021 with renewed intentions. I was tired of hiding. I was tired of not having any fun. I was tired of, well, being tired. So, what changed?

Throughout 2020, I was reading. (If you follow me on Facebook you may have seen my photo album called “Read For Your Life 2020.”) Out of all the books I read in 2020, the most influential was SuperBetter: The Power of Living Gamefully by Jane McGonigal. 

Jane McGonigal is a game designer who suffered a severe concussion that did not heal properly, making it difficult to think, or even get out of bed. She was told it could take a year or more for her to fully recover. Facing this devastating news, McGonigal became depressed and even suicidal, until one day when she made a game out of her recovery. That game was SuperBetter. 

SuperBetter has been adopted by many people who wish to reach their goals, especially those suffering from depression and PTSD. As a trauma survivor, myself, I found the concepts of the book and the game fascinating, and while it took months to digest, I began playing my own game of SuperBetter on January 4th. And thus was born my unofficial New Year’s Resolution.

So, why SuperBetter? Why would a game help me reach my goals?

There are 7 ways that our minds approach games that can actually be harnessed to inspire growth in real life:

Imagine you’re playing a game with your friends or family. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a physical game that you’re playing at a table, or a virtual game played online. The first thing that you should notice is how you feel: the anticipation of hoping you’re going to slaughter your family at Settlers of Catan is the moment you CHALLENGE YOURSELF. Now pretend that you’re preparing to tackle a project or goal. You have a choice about whether to adopt a feeling of dread/obligation or you can “adopt a challenge mindset” and it feels more like a game.

“In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. You find the fun and SNAP…the job’s a game!”

Mary Poppins

Every 80’s kid knows how important it is to collect that first mushroom for Mario in Super Mario Brothers. Or maybe you can imagine holding a WILD Card in your hand during a round of UNO. This is the phase where you COLLECT AND ACTIVATE POWER-UPS. In real life, a Power-Up is anything that helps you feel stronger or happier. It can be as small or simple as drinking a glass of water, getting a hug, or listening to an inspiring piece of music. It can feel a little awkward or meta, even, to look at your life and identify the things that make you feel more powerful, or motivate you to work harder, but it works!

If you’ve ever played a video game that culminates in a Boss Fight, or teamed up with other game players to stop your brother from winning Monopoly, you’ll realize it takes flexibility and a good strategy to FIND AND BATTLE THE BAD GUYS. I’m not going to sugar coat this portion – it takes a lot of self-awareness to recognize the things that are keeping you from reaching your goals. This step asks us to be open to negative experiences and realize that we are not always going to win. But remember, a war is made up of many battles, so don’t give up! The goal here is to acknowledge a bad guy and create a strategy of how you’re going “battle” that bad guy. As you engage with the bad guy, you learn from it regardless of whether you win or lose. Every time you engage with that particular bad guy, you become more resilient and savvy. This teaches us not to dread failure, but to use it as a learning opportunity!

Anyone who has trained for a marathon, or practiced for a piano recital, or written a research paper can remind us that you can’t do it all at once. It’s a multi-step process that requires intentional action toward an end goal. Within a game, you may have to complete certain tasks before you can acquire a skill or participate in an event. This is why it is imperative that we SEEK OUT AND COMPLETE QUESTS that get us closer to our goals! (Side note: a group of quests is called an ADVENTURE!) Let’s say that we have a goal of running a 5k race. If you do a search for “Couch to 5k” you’ll discover multiple programs that break down a training schedule that will take you from running for 5 minutes at a time to being able to run an entire 5k. Each of those suggested trainings could be considered a quest that culminate in completing the Adventure by participating in a 5k! You just have to decide what quests you need/want to do to in the course of your Adventure!

The best and most memorable adventures require teamwork! Where would Dorothy be without the Scarecrow, Tinman, and Cowardly Lion? How would Frodo have carried the One Ring without Sam and the rest of the Fellowship? Would Sarah have stood a chance against the Goblin King without Hoggle’s help? In game speak: how would you have taken down that big bad boss without those sweet heals from your teammate? And let’s face it, you can’t play most games alone! This is why, in SuperBetter, you need to RECRUIT YOUR ALLIES! Allies are trusted friends and confidants who you feel comfortable sharing your goals with. They are the ones you can turn to when you’re facing a discouraging moment or want to celebrate a win! Allies provide support, accountability, and let’s be honest, it’s more fun to do life with the people you love!

When you play Monopoly, you must first choose a game piece. (I like the Thimble or the Scottie Dog.) When you play a video game, you choose a pre-made character like Toad in Mario Kart, or you create a custom avatar like you do in World of Warcraft, The Sims, or Animal Crossing. The avatar we choose becomes the hero of the game we’re playing and an extension of ourselves. While playing SuperBetter, we realize that we are the protagonist and hero of our own lives. McGonigal suggests that we ADOPT A SECRET IDENTITY to inspire us to become SUPER versions of ourselves. Besides, it’s really fun to end conversations by saying, “I must go. Gotham needs me!”  I’ll be honest, this part threw me for a loop at first because I didn’t want to be Wonder Woman, I wanted to be Vanessa. But as McGonigal points out in her book, her initial secret identity was Jane the Concussion Slayer. She was still Jane, but the secret part was what she was battling. Brilliant!

Winning isn’t easy. It takes effort, skill, and stamina to see it through to the end. If you play your cards right, you just might be able to GO FOR AN EPIC WIN. In the context of a table game an epic win would be, well, winning the game. Beating the competition. In SuperBetter, an epic win is essentially a goal with a purpose. The purpose of an epic win is to help you build momentum and resilience toward achieving your supreme ultimate mack daddy of goals. Let’s say your larger goal is to finish writing your novel. An epic win would be finishing a chapter in that novel. Ideally, an epic win should be juuuuust challenging enough to push you. Each epic win builds upon the previous one until you’ve achieved something way larger than you ever thought possible! What is that saying about eating an elephant?

You may be wondering HOW I’m playing SuperBetter. That was the thing that tripped me up as I read the book. I thought to myself, all of this information is great but it seems like an incredible amount of work to turn your life into a CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE game. (Well, the good news is that there is a SuperBetter Website where you can begin playing the game for free. It won’t make a lot of sense to you unless you’ve read the book, to be honest.) While I utilize the website as a way to track my goals and earn points and see what kinds of skills I’m improving, I needed something a little more hands on, so created my own personal tracking system: I call it the DOOR OF STICKY-NOTES. As I complete quests or tasks, I tick them off, or remove the sticky note and there is something just so satisfying (even FUN!) about seeing those post-its disappear. I am also using additional post-it’s to make notes and reminders about the important things I’m learning. It’s not perfect. But it’s fun. And more importantly it’s working for me!

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There’s a lot more to be said about SuperBetter, and having only been playing for ELEVEN DAYS, I am anything but an expert. That said, I have observed that I am happier and my life feels more balanced somehow. My boundaries and my goals are clearer, and my relationships with others seem to be improving. This seems like an absurdly huge personal growth spurt in my life after less than two weeks. Is it possible that this is just beginner’s luck or the honeymoon phase of yet another personal development experiment? Perhaps. But I continue to be impressed by how SuperBetter has changed my life so far.

There’s so much more to this book and I cannot recommend it highly enough. You can purchase it here.

Learn more about SuperBetter by watching Jane McGonigal’s TedTalk below:

Additional resources

https://janemcgonigal.com/

https://www.karlbooklover.com/lessons-from-superbetter/